It is not that bad.

Ok it is not that bad.
At least not what I thought it was going to be.  I had an image in my head of me crying (literally) at the end of the day for anything sugar or non-fruit/potato carb based food item.  That is not the case. Not at all.  When I did the Atkins years ago in my 20s I did cry…cry and then proceeded to fill my face with croutons in the dark in my tiny town home kitchen, alone.
And I haven’t cried once. I have been a salty bitch a few times, and we almost had a domestic violence call on us over a pureed vegetable drink the first week, but no crying.
I don’t know if being older or doing this with someone or the fact that I am the supporter in this, as I am doing this entirely for another person, is what makes a difference, but something is different and this is much harder than what I tried before.  Doing something entirely to support someone else is something I have never done before, and I like the way it feels.  When my ex-husband was diagnosed diabetic I made all his meals for him initially, read everything I could and created a plan for his health, but I didn’t do it with him. I ate cupcakes on the couch in front of him and baked pies all the damn time. He struggled and I couldn’t understand why, after I was doing it all FOR him, but now I get it. Doing it WITH someone gives you the understanding, and it makes the other person feel like they matter enough that you are willing to sacrifice for something important to them. And this understanding I only got with age and divorce, unfortunately, but such is life, you learn from your past mistakes and do better.
We have eaten well the entire week and I haven’t felt hungry once. I do, however, often feel unsatisfied with my meal.  There is plenty of food, but not the food I want to be eating. I cook all the time for our family and it really wasn’t very different cooking this way, but at all my meals we eat bread, garlic bread, biscuits, French bread…something.  And every meal this past week was missing bread.  We had delicious stuffed peppers, and all I could think was how great a big piece of French baguette would be to soak up all the sauce, and all the man could think of was how a glass of red wine would be perfect with the meal. It’s only 30 days we keep telling ourselves.
Things I miss the most and genuinely yearn for: Bread and even more than bread, and I cannot believe this because I never felt like I ate that much of it…peanut butter. Oh.  My.  God.  There have been moments where I would actually consider cutting off a body part for some peanut butter, no joke. And I don’t eat peanut butter sandwiches on a regular basis or peanut butter off a spoon often, but I do sometimes. Every time I opened the peanut butter for the kids I almost cried, but I didn’t instead I got really salty and cranky…swear words started flowing. The kids could not stop laughing.
One of our kids asked me to make some kind of peanut butter snack for him, and he never wants to eat what I make and never asks me for anything, so I was all too happy to make him something he wanted, but shit, when I opened that peanut butter…I found myself chewing one of the superballs (as they were called) and spitting it out and rinsing my mouth out like a loser.  Later in the week, the man admitted to doing the exact same thing.
Other than that, I don’t miss the cookies as much as I thought and I haven’t been displeased with anything I have made us. I have made every single thing the man has put in his mouth since we started and he hasn’t had one complaint, and he is far less salty than I am when he gets a craving…which is nice for me.
This was my favorite of the week, I would eat this whole30 month or not for a breakfast or dinner.  And it happened to photograph exceptionally well.IMG_3103

Sweet potato hash with poached eggs (whole 30 allowed) (serves two)

2 sweet potatoes cooked
2 Chicken and Apple Sausages, diced
half a red onion, diced
one chopped green or red pepper
olive oil
four eggs (favorite recipe here)
salt and pepper

Scoop out the inside of the sweet potatoes and mash roughly.  Heat olive oil in the pan and add sausage, onion and peppers. Season with salt and pepper and cook until sausage is slightly browned and onion is slightly caramelized, roughly 5-7 minutes. Add the sweet potato and season again with salt and pepper, feel free to add a touch more olive oil to the pan if it appears dry (I did). Cook until the sweet potato beings to caramelize. Throw it on the plate and top with poached eggs with a touch of salt. IMG_3104.JPG

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One Comment Add yours

  1. I enjoyed reading about your progress, and this recipe looks insanely good! I might have to make something like this for a weekend breakfast. Yum!
    Tania @ http://www.thegammonkitchen.wordpress.com

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